I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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