Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
