I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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