So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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