Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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