Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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