whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I am one with the molecules
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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