drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
