We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
