its not stalking. its research.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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