I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
