just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
