I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I believe in your delicious
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
