he puts the penis in happiness.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just want to make out with him forever
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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