If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
