your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
