He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
