"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
