I will die if light touches me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
