physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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