marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
