She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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