Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
