R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
