I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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