she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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