Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize