she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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