so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
