508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
