Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
