question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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