The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
