Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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