My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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