he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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