she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
