Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
