Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages

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(206): View more from Washington

My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places

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(304): View more from West Virginia

As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.

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(219): View more from Indiana

How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...

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(906): View more from Michigan

I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.

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