If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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