she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
