Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
