At least make sure they are 18
Why
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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