I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
