Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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