Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
