You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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