I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
