Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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