she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
God, I missed his penis.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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