Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize