morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
