He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
