Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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