I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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