Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
