Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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