Don't you send me to vm
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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