i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
