That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
