wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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