If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just had sex on a roof
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
