Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
