it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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