I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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