i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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