We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
