Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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