We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ladies don't puke and tell
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
