Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
