I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
