he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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