didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
