Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize