why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
