I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
