nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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