i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
