Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
